I forgive you Gerald she said,  a slow smile creeping over her face.  I glanced up at The clock as it pinged the hour and when I looked back down she had already slipped away.  Her face serene and peaceful in death.  I realised I was still holding her hand,  the skin paper thin and translucent,  a map work of veins so near the surface. I let go and gently placed her hand at her side.
What had Gerald done that needed forgiving I wondered briefly but I never allowed my thoughts to dwell there.  Glancing one last time over my shoulder at her still beautiful but age worn face,  I left the room. My place was with the dying, my work here was done.
It was not my place to question my lot in life, I accepted my role in this incarnation and I understood how you couldn’t get involved but how could you not when it seemed that fate was so unfair

Special People………….Jodene Shaer

Jodene Shaer and Greg Arthur #MondayNightTalk

It Takes a special kind of person to make a success of themselves yet remain humble and not look down their noses at other people. By a success, I don’t necessarily mean make huge pots of money because in my own very humble opinion being loaded doesn’t always make you a success as a person, it just makes you wealthy in cash terms. As nice as it is or would be to be rolling in huge amounts of dosh, and I am pretty sure Jodene shares my opinion, money does not amount to the be all and end all of life but being happy and confident and knowing that you are, does sure go a long way!
That is exactly what Jodene Shaer, partner in the business, Lifeology with Greg Arthur radiates; happiness and the confidence to show her vulnerabilities to the world through the medium of blogging, tweeting, facebooking, talking to people and showing the real Jodene to the world.

Jodene Shaer

Jodene was the guest speaker at last night’s Monday Night Talk and she managed to hold her audience in the palm of her hand for over an hour whilst she chatted about her journey from school to present day. From the trials and tribulations of not knowing where you are going to finding your way and making a go of it. Not afraid to mention her fight to get her weight down, her broken heart and the hardships of finding real people out there in a superficial world, Jodene was forthright and brave enough to answer all of the questions that were thrown her way.

Whilst Jodene does not profess to be a social media guru she certainly has an insiders knowledge and huge insight into the world of twitter and Facebook. Asked for “Twitter” tips she responded with the following five points which I have made into 6 points:
1. Follow people back
2. Engage with people
3. Avoid negativity & drama
4. Make the most of every opportunity
5. Take a picture (or it never happened)
6. hang out with influencers

Sounds easy enough doesn’t it, maybe a little harder to get there than she made it seem. However, considering that last night I got to hang out with Jodene Shaer, David Graham, Greg Arthur, Jared Orlin and a whole bunch of others, there is photographic evidence, we engaged with everyone, kept the evening hugely positive and loved every minute of it, seems to me that pretty much sums up everything that Jodene was talking about last night…………….the tracks are laid, now for the steam train to roll on through!

Proof that the evening happened at Indulgence Cafe

We wish Jodene huge future success, go from strength to strength, stay positive and above all else stay the happy, humble person you are!
Thank you so much for your time last night for Monday Night Talk!

Getting My Shit (Together)

Life is an incredibly strange creature.  I guess that’s why it’s called Life, you just never know what’s going to happen from one minute to the next.  Is it exciting?  Is the potential for constant change and evolution exciting?  Are life changing occurrences what keep us sane or is our sanity dependent on the drugs we take to help us cope with those changes?  I have the feeling you’re wondering wtf I’m talking about because to you your life doesn’t appear to altering on a daily basis. 
I promise you it is.  You wake up.  You dress. Have breakfast or maybe not. You head into the traffic to make your way to work.  You stop at the red light,  the guy behind you doesn’t.  You Go thru the green light, the other guy doesn’t.  You drop your cellphone and in your mad scramble to pick it up you knock over a pedestrian.  Your life just changed forever as did everyone’s around you.  One small catalyst is all it takes and those catalysts are the unconscious choices that we make every waking second of every day.  Your life does change every instant. Sometimes those changes are huge and far reaching like finding out you have a dreaded disease or infinitesimal like choosing coffee over cappuccino but everyone brings about a change.
How you choose to deal with that change is quite possibly the only real choice you have.  To add sugar or sweetener, to overcome your illness through diet, exercise, medication and sheer force of will?
Do you even have a choice because what is the only other option available if you do not take up the challenge? 
Life. Choices. Options. Catalysts.  Questions. Questions.  Questions.
Was there even an option in the first place?
Shakespeare put it perfectly “To be or not to be, that is the question”

Getting My Shit (MS)

On Thursday 20th February 2014 at around 11.15am my world fell apart.
I went from being a strong independent self-starter to OMG how am I going to cope with this and feeling like an invalid in the space of a few words. All it took was the doctor to say “I’m afraid I have some bad news”. You hear them in movies, your hear stories from friends who hear them, but when you actually hear them yourself the world seems to stop spinning on its axis for a very brief moment of eternity. It is almost comical because the world and the people in it do not change but you do, instantly.
I had been feeling dizzy and light headed for a couple of days. I have high blood pressure but when it is running towards the high side I usually feel nauseous and sickly and this wasn’t how this felt. I felt stoned. And not in a good way. That revolting feeling when you turn your head and your brain only follows a second later. That’s how was was feeling and it wasn’t cool. I was trying to run my business and take care of my “massive” empire whilst feeling like an out of control drug addict. I went to see my GP. She seemed to think middle ear infection and said I needed to see an ENT or a Specialist Physician. I have a friend with a brain tumour so I, in my usual casual fashion asked if that is what we were looking for. She never answered.
The fastest way to get into the healthcare system is to go via an emergency room, so the next day that is exactly what I did. In fact I grabbed my mum and said let’s pop down to the hospital quickly. I wasn’t expecting to end up being booked in overnight after an MRI and a myriad of blood tests.
I think I knew then that whatever was going on was going to be serious, this wasn’t going to be a simple middle ear infection…
Of course, the toughest thing you can go through is the wait for results and the night was very long, and very fraught with all manner of anxieties and the doctor only showed up at around 11am the following day. Maybe if he hadn’t showed up at all the following days would have been a little less bleak but one cannot really shoot the messenger in this day and age if one doesn’t like what he has to say “I’m afraid I have some bad news, you have lesions on your brain that could be one of three things. You need to see a neuro ”
I was very casual and incredibly cavalier in my response to him. I said when you speak to the neuro please tell him I will come in on Monday to see him. I had my first ever, first ever solo, sculpture exhibition opening that Sunday afternoon and nothing was going to stand in my way of being there. Nothing! The Neuro had other ideas and I was instructed to present myself immediately, the next hospital was waiting for my arrival. So I drove myself home and then got mum to take me to the next clinic, at least this one was a little closer to home and this doctor I had already met before.
I was dispatched for a lumbar puncture on arrival and then got to spend the next 14 hours either on my stomach or on my back so as to minimize headache that was going to follow. The doctors were looking for MS (Multiple Sclerosis) and they found it.
The MRI had confirmed 3 lesions on my brain that hadn’t been there a few years previously and with the results of the fluid from the lumbar puncture and a couple more blood tests it was confirmed. I have been diagnosed with MS.
The news was a shock that I have only just begun to get over. It could have been worse, it could have been a brain tumor. It could have been worse, I could not have had a medical aid. It could have been worse, I could have had to face this alone, without the incredible support of my mother, family and friends.
This journey is just beginning… Now the medical aid needs to be petitioned to pay for the huge costs of medication. I have to work towards changing my life, reducing the hours I work, changing my diet, reducing the stress in my daily existence, no mean feat in this country. These things are a challenge but they are doable, and I intend to try because not trying means giving in to this really ugly disease and letting it take control of my life instead of me taking control of it, one day at a time.
I have spent the past week grieving for the future that might have been but the truth is I actually have no idea what the future might have been anyway. It isn’t like I intended to climb Everest before this diagnosis but it does mean that I intend taking that hot air balloon ride rather sooner than later, that I might not ever hike the Otter Trail but I will enjoy the walks in Delta Park with my faithful Amiga, even more now that I used to and that although that slice of cake looks awesomely delicious I may just enjoy that fresh plum a little more.
From here on it is about living life, loving life and trying to be a better person if only because I can be
This is the beginning of my journey and you are welcome to come along for the ride……